


The Day Off

by A Small World (Datawolf39)



Series: Start of Something Small [3]
Category: Death in Paradise
Genre: Bedtime Stories, Camille is a good friend, Checkers, Crying, Diapers, Hints of child neglect, Hurt and comfort, In my head season 3 on is AU, Little Richard is shy and cute, Naptime, Non-Sexual Age Play, Richard is Little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 14:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14854433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Datawolf39/pseuds/A%20Small%20World
Summary: Richard is forced to take a day off. He spends it being Little, and Camille finds out about that side of him.





	The Day Off

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this written for a long time. I have a lot of ideas for this verse, but I really don't know if it'll get written. Only time will tell.

“Richard?” Camille called as she entered the shack where he lived. She smiled at thought of the expression he wore when someone called it a shack. He used various words for the place, but never that one. She sat down the items that she had brought, a few snacks, that she knew he was fond of, she had procured as a peace offering, and looked around the place. The bed was messy and there was no sign of Richard, that was unusual. Richard was a very organized person and he always made his bed once he had gotten out of it or at the very least straightened the top sheet.

“Richard?” she called again, a little worried now. He had said that he would be staying home, the open shutters and doors supported the fact that he was here, seeing as he never left without locking everything up.

She had come over to check on him since it was truly his first off day since arriving on the island, since even when he had been sick, he had been working on a case with the rest of the team. He had only taken it because the Commissioner had, after he had appeared like a ninja, as he was wont to do, literally banned him from the station for the day when he had overheard that Richard had not taken any personal days. 

“Please leave,” she heard him say from the other side of the bed. She still couldn't see him, so he must have been flat on the ground. If she wasn't so worried she would have laughed at the fact that it was a role reversal of the first time that they had met.

“What's wrong?” she asked staying where she was. There had been an undercurrent of fear in his voice and she didn't want to spook him more than he already seemed to be, but she couldn't just leave when something could be wrong with him.

“N-nothing,” he stuttered. “I jus' need to be alone.”

Something was definitely wrong, he never sounded like that. Sure he stuttered when nervous or indignant, but this was something else. “I'm coming around the bed,” she warned him.

“Don't,” he plead.

Worry and concern overrode her ability to respect his privacy, and she rounded the bed. What she saw made her gasp. Richard was dressed in a pale blue t-shirt that was several sizes too big for him. The garment likely hung past his thighs when he stood, but he was now sitting hunched up, with arms around his legs and his head resting on his knees, so the shirt covered him to his feet.

“Hey, what's the matter?” she asked softly.

He said nothing, but she could see him shaking, and she was sure that he was crying even though he wasn't making a sound. That more than anything worried her because one, she had never seen him cry, teary-eyed yes, but outright crying, never, and two, he could cry without making a sound, that was a behavior that indicated that he had a lot of practice doing it, and that brought many negative ideas about what had happened in his past to her mind.

She sat next to him and tugged at him until he leaned against her. 

At first, he maintained his position stiffly, although, it could not have been comfortable, but then, after some time, he seemed to relax, letting his legs stretch out, and resting his arms in his lap with his right hand laying on his left one. He kept his head down so that she could not see his face, and even though she was curious she didn't want to move and have him retreat.

“Sorry,” Richard said softly.

Camille startled at the sound of his voice, both because it broke the silence, and because the tone was one that she had never heard from him. She was also puzzled as to what it was that he was sorry for, since, as far as she was concerned, he hadn't done anything that he needed to apologize for. In any other circumstance she would be amused at that thought, but there was a weight in the air that held the amusement at bay. “What are you sorry for?” she asked just as softly.

For the first time since she had arrived, Richard looked at her. There were obvious tear streaks on his face, along with reddened eyes, and there was a mixture of fear and sadness in his expression. “ You shouldn't have had to see that.” He swallowed before speaking again. "My childhood was... not ideal. There are a lot of things that happened that I don't care to recall. I think that's why I sometimes like to... play.”

“What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath, that did very little to calm him, but in for a penny, in for a pound. “Sometimes when things get to be too much, I need to... to be younger again. I play, I act like a child, I adopt the mentality of a child. It helps me cope. I shouldn't have allowed you to know this. It will affect how you think of me. I only hope that you will keep knowledge of this to yourself and that you can somehow look past the disgust and still work with me.”

Camille was stunned into silence. Not at the secret that he had revealed, although, it was rather unusual, she was stunned that he thought she would use it against him. She wanted to be mad at him, and tell him off, for even having such a thought, but knowing how repressed he was, and how easily he would clam up she couldn't. That didn't even take into account that she now knew, rather than just having suspicions, that his childhood was a major contributor to his nature, which, whether he knew or not, was at times, childish. Then there was the fact that there must have been people that had betrayed his trust, for him to be so certain that there was no other course of action for her. 'What amount of evil had the world forced on this man?' She couldn't help thinking.

“Listen to me,” she said, “I don't completely understand all that you have said, but if this is something that helps you I am grateful for it. You are not harming anyone so if it helps you cope, who am I to judge? I am not disgusted with you either. I am worried, if you are slipping into a childlike state shouldn't someone be with you?”

At that he looked away. “People like me, Littles, sometimes have people to look after them when they are in their headspace. I've never had a caregiver, mostly it was because I never trusted anyone enough to tell them about this side of me. If this ever got out, I would have been a bigger laughingstock than I already was.”

Camille really wanted to ask about that. Sure he was a little rude, somewhat antisocial, and had a host of other flaws, but he was also intelligent, brave, incredibly selfless in some cases, and he cared so deeply, although he had an odd way of showing it. He was complicated as all people are, but he didn't deserve to be ridiculed. Now was not the time to bring that up, there was something far more important that she needed to say.

“Do you think we could try?”

“What?!”

“I want to try and be -what did you call it?- a caregiver for you. I may not be the best at it, but I would like to try.”

Richard was torn between hope and mortification. A caregiver was something that he had always wanted and for Camille to offer... “Do you really?” he had to ask.

She smiled and nodded at him. “Can you tell me what I would have to do?”

“Just look after me.”

“So what I normally do?” she quipped.

He glared at her. “If you're not serious-” he began, his uncertainty and fear masquerading as anger.

Camille easily picked up on this. “I'm sorry, I just thought joking might loosen the tension in the air. I want to help.”

“We could try now, just to see if it would work.” he suggested quietly. 

Camille nodded surprised at his quick acceptance of her offer. Perhaps he wanted a caregiver more than he had let on?

“What do I have to do?” she asked again.

“Just treat me as a child. In my mindset I will be one. It's hard to explain. I suppose I can pull up a few things from the internet,” he suggested.

“No, if we don't try now, I don't think we ever will.”

Richard knew that she was right, but he still felt bad throwing her in the deep end like this. “Um.. well then, can you wait out on the veranda, so I can go down. That means get in my headspace,” he clarified. “I never had to in front of somebody so I'm not quite sure I can.”

“Alright,” she agreed. She was suddenly a little nervous, just what was she getting herself into?

As she was standing, a hand on hers made her look at him. “Rick or Ricky.” At her look of confusion he elaborated. “That's what you should call me.” With that he released her hand.

It took him twenty minutes to fall back into his space, he knew that he was there when he was contemplating sticking his thumb in his mouth and not worrying about how unsanitary it was. He was surprised that he had even managed to do so, did he really trust her that much?

Camille wished they had set up a code word or system so that she could know when it was alright to go back to him. In fact they should have set up a safe word so she would know if he needed her to back off.

“Hi,” she heard a voice squeak. She was half surprised his voice could be that soft and that high.

“Hi,” she said with a bright smile as she reentered the shack. She took her spot beside him, smile never wavering. The last thing she wanted to do was make him retreat. It's nice to meet you,” she said after a slight pause.

He simply blushed and looked away.

Apparently he was a shy boy. She could work with that. “What do you like to do?” she asked.

“I has books.” he said, pulling his thumb to his mouth.

“Do you have any toys?” she asked stopping the digit before he could suck it.

“Toys are for good little boys.”

Camille's heart broke. He had said that as a statement. As though it were a fact that he was not good enough for toys, and even if he were, he was too old anyway. He wasn't even sad about it either, he was resigned.

Ricky frowned. He hadn't meant to make the pretty lady sad. Maybe if he didn't suck his thumb like he wanted to, she would be happy. Now he really wished he had a paci, resisting the allure of his thumb without one was going to be really hard.

Camille pulled herself together. There would be time to address Richard's self-worth later. “How about we play some hand games, then we can read, and then nap time.”

Ricky nodded. He would have done anything she wanted so that she would be happy, it was just lucky for him that it sounded good.

They had finished a few hand games when the urge hit him. He almost came out of his headspace, this was something that they hadn't discussed, in fact there had been a lot that they should have talked about instead of jumping right in, however, Camille had been right, if they hadn't started when they did he likely would have shut her out as best he could. It was a matter of seconds he had to stop himself, but he was aided by the fact that he wasn't ready to age up yet and he settled back in his space with little difficulty.

It didn't take a detective of her caliber to understand what was going on when all the squirming started, she was just uncertain of what she should do. When the squirming became more urgent she treated him like she would any other child and rushed him to the toilet.

When he made no move to use the facilities himself, she tugged up his shirt. 'Ah so he was wearing protection' she thought as she slid down the nappy. From the looks of it, it was one of the well crafted reusable cloth ones. Once that was done, she sat him down, making sure he was aimed in the toilet. It was somewhat awkward, but she set that aside. Right now this person was not her boss, he was just a little boy, a little boy that desperately needed to be given attention, and shown affection. Besides this was hardly be the most unsanitary thing that she had ever done.

“All done?” she asked when the sound tapered off.

He nodded and stood. After pulling up his diaper and tugging the shirt back into place, they went over to the sink to wash his hands. She smiled as he played with the foamy soap, fluffing it up and squishing it in his palms.

After rinsing and drying his hands they went back into the main space. “Can you show me your books?” she asked noting that he was looking a bit tired. 

He went over to his pile of books on the table, and took a large brown one, it looked like a classic, and didn't stand out from the others. When he placed it in her hands, however, she could see that it was a book of fairy tales... in French.

She smiles at this realizing he was teaching himself the language, and that it probably made him feel younger because he was just starting, but there is also a sense of sadness at the revelation.

“Do you not have younger books?” As his face falls, she hurries to reassure him. “The fairy tale book is very nice, and I see a few of my favorite stories, if I'm not mistaken, I just thought that you might have some books with pictures that we could read together.”

His eyes don't meet hers when he speaks. “I'm too old for dem, even if I wasn't, I's not a good little boy.”

There is was again. She frowned, she understood the 'too old' bit. If Richard wanted the books he would have to buy them. From what she could tell, he hadn't wanted to draw attention before he had come to Sainte Marie, and now that he was here he couldn't. The problem with a small island was that everyone knew everyone else's business. If Richard bought picture books or borrowed them from the local library, the island grapevine would be alerted before he left the premises. No, her issue was when he said he wasn't good. That seemed to be something that he saw as fact, but there was no evidence that he was anything, but well-behaved.

Rick began to squirm a little so she pushed aside her thoughts, they could discuss them later, and pasted on a bright smile. “Oh, here is one of my favorites, Belle et la Bête, you look rather tired so I'll simply translate, okay?”

Rick nodded and got comfortable.

“Once upon a time there was a prince and though he had everything that his heart desired. he was not satisfied...”

~

By the time Belle was tending the wounds the Beast had gotten whilst rescuing her, Ricky was asleep. Camille marked her place in the book, and set it aside. She gazed at Richard as he slept. If she hadn't walked in when she had she never would have known about his secret. She thanked heavens that she had. 

He didn't need to be alone in this state, and it made her sad that he had been every time before this one. Never again, she promised herself, then she frowned remembering the deprecatory remarks he had made about himself. He kept saying he wasn't good, and while he had never said that as his -normal?- self, he still had the tendency to undervalue himself. He hid behind the team when they solved the case, giving credit to whomever had helped spark the inspiration to crack the case, he didn't like the spotlight to linger on him after he had put on his show, so whilst not a conventional team player, he was a great one. He held back so much of himself, and getting him to open up was like pulling teeth, or a better comparison, like pulling something out of dried cement.. She decided then that this secret was her opening. Richard would never let anyone take care of him, but Ricky, oh there was a world of possibility there, and she was going to take advantage of it. She was going to spoil him, shower him in gifts and love because if ever there was a man, who in this case was also a little boy, that deserved it, it was him.

She started with a meal. She had made fish and fries, something that was satisfactory no matter what headspace he woke up in, and she had called her mother to ask for the recipe of the juice cocktail she had loved as a child. She had claimed she wanted to recapture her youth through the nostalgia of the drink, however, she knew that her mother didn't quite believe her. There was no way she was going to tell the truth though, so it was pretty much a moot point.

When Richard woke it was to the oddest feeling of serenity. Having Camille here had made a world of difference to him, and he was surprised at how well it had gone. He also was surprised that he wanted more, that he wanted the experience to continue. This was even more shocking due to the fact that he hardly ever woke up ready to fall back into littlespace.

'No, no far too selfish,' he thought, a brilliant blush staining his cheeks. In any case there was no way that she would wish to spend more of her time taking care of a person like him. He was going to get up, thank her, send her on her way, pretending to be fine, and once she was gone he would either drink away the memory or slip down and pretend that it would be the same without her.

That plan went out the window when she came over to the bed noticing that he had woken up. He opened his mouth to say she should leave, and forget this ever happened, what came out was completely different. A sob.

His headspace changed so abruptly, that he was shocked, that never happened, and suddenly he was plunged headfirst into a sea of emotion. Camille was his life raft.

“I don't wanna be alone. I be good, promise. Don't leave!” he sobs, tears making rivers on his face. He's choking on the thought that she could leave. It would be so easy for her to walk away. Mommy and Daddy had done it often enough. She had even less of a reason to care about him. 

Camille was dumbstruck. She had seen a inner battle take place and had waited patiently to see if he wanted to stay in his child persona or if he was ready to be her bullheaded boss again. Then Richard- no Ricky, because this was definitely not Richard now- clumsily grabbed her shirt during his pleading as though it would keep her here. 

As if she could leave.

She pulled him into a hug and felt him stiffen. “Shh,” she hushed. “You are a very good boy, and I am staying until you are ready to be older again. I am here and I will be here,” she promises. Instinctively she knows that she is going to have to show him and tell him more that she will be here and that he is fine the way that he is, and she doesn't mind. She will say it as often as she needs to because she loves him and he is her friend.

~

Ricky is subdued as he eats. He watches her though, when she moves, his eyes follow her. She knows that he is still afraid she might leave. They play a few games and she coaxes a few smiles out of him, which she considers an achievement. A few minutes after their game of Checkers ends, Ricky winning thanks to an illegal move that she allows, because he needs whatever happiness he can get, she watches as he closes his eyes and she knows Richard is back when a sheepish look comes over him.

She interjects preemptively. “You have nothing to be sorry for, it was unexpected, but I had a nice time. We will be doing it again, and that's final.” the astonished yet hopeful look that he gives her is a memory that she will forever treasure.

~

The next few days go by as she thought they would, Richard is undoubtedly embarrassed, and he avoids looking at her more than necessary, however, he still speaks to her, and when they are out on cases, the awkwardness lets up. 

One day, when she is alone with Fidel and Dwayne, Dwayne asks, “What happened between you and the Chief?” 

Honestly, she had been expecting the question, and if it were anyone else, she might have claimed that they were in a romantic relationship, however, Richard was different. She decided on a half-truth. “I went over on his day off, and saw something I he didn't want me to. I told him that everything was fine, but he was really embarrassed.”

As she had thought they would, they smiled conspiratorially. They had, incorrectly thought that she had meant she walked in on him unclothed. It was a simple lie, and more than anything it was believable. Of course, she would have to let Richard know what she had implied so that he would be ready for the friendly teasing that this would cause, but she was sure that it would be infinitely preferable to the real secret getting out.

~

She called him that night after she had gotten home. His greeting was stilted and formal, as was becoming the norm when they didn't have a case.

“So,” she says with little build-up, I may have implied to our co-workers that I saw you naked and that is why things have been so awkward lately.” 

She could practically hear him blush over the phone.

“Camille!” he exclaimed.

She laughed. “It's fine, I promise, they might tease you a bit, but they won't mean anything by it.”

“I'm sorry.” he whispered.

Camille sobered up at once. “For what?”

“For acting like I have been. I'm not ungrateful to you for that day, i just wanted to make sure that you knew that even though i have been acting like i am.”

“I already knew that, it's still nice to hear it, but I did know. I would like to think I have come to know you very well Richard.”

“Would you...I mean... would you care to, you know, would you want to do it again?” He finally got out. 

“I would love to.”


End file.
